Merry Christmas

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, or if your like our family we are kind of still in Christmas mode. We still have a few pressies to deliver. Also apologies to all our family and friends that didn't receive cards from us. We even had labels made up with of all our faces on them but never got around to sending them (just another well meaning intention that I couldn't get my head around to organize).

Christmas day was beautiful and sad at the same time for me. It's funny how and when things decide to hit you. I never expected or wanted to feel upset on Christmas day but as I watched three of our children unwrap their presents and be full of smiles and cuddles, I felt an incredible ache that not all of my children were with us.

What was Jeremiah's Christmas like? Did he like the excitement or was it too much for him? Did he fall asleep in someones arms or was he put to bed at normal time? Did he like our present?

What comforts him? What scares him? What makes him smile?

These are a few of the never ending questions I had and have. They are simple every day things that a mother should know and it hurts that I don't, that I'm not with him to hold him when he cries, to make him laugh, to see his face when he unwraps his presents, and just to instill in him that he is so incredibly loved.

I'm so thankful that the orphanage love God and with our prayers also, I'm sure Jeremiah knows or feels Gods love around him.

We spent Christmas at my Mums with lots of extended family and it was really lovely. Mum arranged "father Christmas" to arrive for the children. They all sat on his lap to get their pressies ( I sat on his lap with Jeremiah's photo for his pressies ).

The children had a ball, stayed up very late, then crashed into bed and actually slept in!!

On Wednesday we went into the city to get those dreaded injections to travel, the kids watched in delight and wanted to see if Dad fainted, as he's a bit squeamish with needles. Unfortunately for the kids entertainment, he was a brave boy!

Before we left for the appointment a package arrived from our new found friends that have adopted from the same orphanage, they took video footage of Jeremiah when they went there earlier this month, we were already running late for our injections so we had to leave straight away. It was sooo hard to not look at it until we got home.

It was the best Christmas present we could have asked for. In one video, Jeremiah is in a high chair with everyone unsuccessfully trying to get him to smile, he looks totally bewildered and totally cute.

The next footage is of him walking, he's wearing a big bum nappy (material nappy), with girly puffy shorts and a white singlet top. He looks a bit wobbly when he walks, it's so precious.

It was so special to be able to see him in action, not just a photo. Even though he didn't smile, every little lip movement or eye expression was adorable. We constantly watch it over and over.

The other children are hanging onto anything more of their little brother, they can't get enough of the footage either.

We also received an e-mail from this same beautiful person who found an old newsletter from the orphanage with a photo of Jeremiah when he was 1 week old, he was the 700th child to enter the orphanage when he was just 6hours old. We are so blessed to have a new born photo and yes even as a new born, he was gorgeous.

Since I can't put any distinguishing photos of him on here, I've decided to put just a portion of his photo up, purely because I cannot contain myself, I want to show you my beautiful little boy.

I have studied his photos over and over, but one of the things I focus on the most are his beautiful eyes, they are so innocent, so pure. We have never seen him smile so we are looking forward to the day we can see laughter in those little eyes.