Sorry it's been so long. To be honest, I haven't been feeling one hundred percent positive lately.
By the way, just incase it's just our family's quirky saying, P.L.O.M stands for "Poor Little Old Me".
Don't get me wrong, on one hand I am so excited to be so close to holding my little boy, but on the other hand, this has taken nearly five years and we are so close and yet we STILL have to go through so much red tape, so much waiting and relying on someone sitting in a government office to send us a piece of paper to let us travel.
Without it, we are not aloud to travel, and this not knowing is driving me crazy.
This is our son, he's been allocated to us, he's passed all the medical standards, and he's growing older by the minute! I don't want to spend one more day without him, or him spend one more day without us!
Sometimes I feel surreal about it, sometimes I feel like I'm going to burst with excitement, and sometimes I want to be a two year old, lay down on the ground and kick and scream and have a full on tantrum whilst screaming "it's not fair!"
Sorry this blog isn't on a lighter note but I started this blog so friends, family, and anyone that connects with it, could see an insight into what goes on in my life, that makes me me. I guess that means the good and the bad.
The other night I kept dreaming of the whole process of driving into the orphanage gates, seeing our greeting on the blackboard, driving closer and seeing Jeremiah in the distance and every time I got close to him, the dream would click to the beginning and start over again..it was torture.
I have to keep my focus on God big time at the moment, and I really do want it all to happen in HIS timing not mine, I just need God to help me in the waiting area.
It's funny, one of the things I asked God for before we even started the adoption process was patience, and boy did he answer my wish. Now I just tell him that I've learnt to be patient so I'd like things to hurry up NOW....please!!! Like my 5yr old says though, "if we had been allocated sooner,(which was our timing) then we wouldn't have Jeremiah as a brother, and he's perfect!" It always amazes me how much my children teach me. As a christian, you "know" this to be true, but sometimes it takes a 5yr old little girl to remind you.
There, I feel better already! Thanks for letting me vent!
2 comments:
Emily's wisdom is great! It will happen, you will hold your child and soon the waiting will seem like a distant memory, much like labour and birth I imagine.
Like ultrasound pictures and DVD's you have photo's and movies of your little one. Just waiting now for the labour pains to end. I'd say this is your transition, things seem worse before they get better. Soon you'll get the green light to fly (or push) and getting to hold your new child in your arms and the pain will go away.
The kids WILL be fine while you're away. I don't anticipate angels, but we will make this journey special together as you do what you have to do and we prepare for your safe return.
Phoebe is right Lu Lu it is like child birth, you know the baby has to come it just will not come quick enough, although in Emmy Lu's case she came too quick and do you remember what you said to me. I think she camne too quick.
So I guess God heard you after all and is doing this birth Just right.
It is as hard to wait for Jeremiah as it was all the others except there is no physical discomfort but a big heart discomfort.
Luve you sweet girl.
Mum xxx
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