Heartstrings

Sorry, I was "Missing in Action"

2008-02-03T21:55:00.000+10:30

Hi all, that is if there is anyone out there that even bothers to check my blog anymore seen as I haven't! LOL.

So.. where have I been?

Well, Jeremiah started having a few wierd things start happening, the main one being that often only one side of his mouth would move when he talked or smiled. It seemed to get worse and an MRI was done to rule out a brain tumour (he was also vomiting upon wakening).

We found out that he has a rare brain condition "Chiari Malformation"- where the base of his brain is basically herniating down his spine, which blocks the flow of fluid around the brain so it can function correctly.

Some people have this without symptoms, most who have symptoms start noticing it around the age of 30yrs, and fewer again are as young as Jeremiah.

From Oct to recently Jeremiah has been quite bad but he seems to be much more back to himself at the moment. They said you can have good times and bad times with it, so we are thankful for the rest he is getting.

The things that affect Jeremiah -

-Difficulty breathing at night where he will stop breathing and his body will eventually jerk and he would start breathing again (therefore he sleeps with us again).

-Painful legs and body, headaches which again are mainly at night or if he has been quite active.

-One sided body weekness, so only one arm swings when he runs and he can get very uncoordinated, lots of stumbles.

-Trouble swallowing, again worse at end of the day.

-Sometimes he will pause in whatever he is doing and wack at his eye or ear for a while, then stop and move on (we have been told people get blurring vision and hearing loss coming and going for short bursts but he is only 2 so he can't explain if that's what it is).

-He was completely toilet trained (1's and 2's) and even at his day sleep but he now has no control, he does try but doesn't seem to be able to read his body anymore. Again this is a symptom of some people but Jeremiah is so young we won't know if he has just gone backwards as yet.

He was getting so bad with it all that we were really worried, he just stopped playing and being active, he was in pain every night and had difficulty swallowing at tea, but thank God, he has really come good at the moment and is even back to jumping with both feet and running again! I didn't really notice how much he wasn't himself until now that he's almost in full swing again. Best thing is no breathing problems at the moment either ( very hard to get any sleep with a child that you are continually massaging for pain and stops breathing on and off!)

There is no cure for his condition so they will keep giving him MRI's throughout his life based on his symptoms and treat him accordingly. He may need Brain surgery which is sometimes helpful in easing or slowing the progression but has it's own risks so we would only look at that when the benefits outweighed the risks. His next MRI is in March, then we are going to fly to America during the year to go to a place that specialise in this condition. There is a lot of difference of opinion in the medical world of what are "symtpoms" of Chiari, but now that I have had contact with others in the world, it seems to be that some symptoms that are called "not Chiari related" happen to be there in most people with Chiari, so it's very frustating getting him the best help when even the neurosurgeons are not in agreement with each other!

On a good note. We reached our one year anniversary on the 28th Jan since we brought Jeremiah home!! WOOHOOO! In some ways it feels as if it has gone by so fast but on the other hand, it feels like we have always had Jeremiah with us. We apply for a court date, finalise the adoption and then I can finally show you photos of him!!!! I will have to do a big catch up and show you photos of his 2nd birthday, and Christmas (the first of both that we have celebrated with him).

Blessings to you all !!!!!!

just a quick laugh!

2007-09-21T11:12:00.000+09:30

A friend of mine ( thanks for the laugh Lisa ), sent me this link, it is definitely worth taking the time to view -

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7331004459878009446

It is seriously one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. The midget bit cracks me up just thinking about it.

Hope it brightens your day!!

WARNING, toilet talk - look away now if your squeemish

2007-08-16T13:38:00.000+09:30

This morning I decided to travel into the city to meet up with a new adoption support group.

Now you think the fact that it was cold and raining and they were going to meet at a playground would be enough for me to guess that they would cancel, but no not me, I busied myself getting the kids ready and off to school, packing food and gear for Jeremiah and me and off I went having a feeling of satisfaction that I was smoothly handling everything.
Of course I rocked up and no one was there, surprise surprise. No problem I thought (still feeling like I had everything covered), I'll just let JJ out of the seat, we can have a snack in the car and travel the 40 minutes back home.

Jeremiah has just turned 22 months and decided he wanted to toilet train about a month ago (well really 3 months ago but I took a while to catch on). I cannot find any jocks or trainer pants to fit him because his bottom is so small, so he still wears an infant size nappy (next one up from newborn which he can also fit in still), plus, the nappy gives him some hope of keeping some pants up. We just put the nappy on and off throughout the day. He only has about 1 to 2 dribble accidents a day but still prefers to do number 2's in the nappy.
BUT not today!

He decided he wanted the toilet...

JJ - toilet, toilet
Me - you want the toilet JJ? (I have a potty in the car for such events, then I just tip it descretely into a gutter - so I'm still feeling like a really prepared Mum)
JJ - Poo's Mummy
Me - (OK not so prepared for number 2's) Umm, you want to do poo's in your nappy JJ?
JJ, - Nooo, toilet!

So to cut a long story short I ended up in the city with no one there that I was meant to meet, the rain pouring down, and sitting in a car with a poop in a potty!!
Whats worse is that when the rain died off, I had to drive to a public toilet, carry JJ in one arm and a poopy potty in the other whilst people driving by had a good old laugh!!
Well, I'm glad the morning wasn't a complete waiste of time - Jeremiah now wants to do poo's in the toilet and I got to entertain passes by!!

Oh one last thing, why is the date on my posts have the day and the month back to front?

God is good!!!

2007-07-31T12:55:00.000+09:30

For those of you who don't know, I am a photographer on and off.

So many people have encouraged me to take the final step and start a proper business instead of sticking just to friends and word of mouth but I never seem to take that final plunge. The money commitment would mean that I had to work to meet repayments and I always wanted to enjoy my photography, not injure it.

When I was growing up I never knew what I wanted to do as a job, it always bothered me that friends around me had some form of direction and I had no idea. That all changed when I was baptised as an adult and asked God for direction, what he wanted me to do......photography has been a passion ever since.

I always wanted to use it for Gods work though and could never see how I could..........till a few years ago.....my sister gave birth to a little angel baby, Gabrielle. I was at the birth and spent time holding this tiny little girl that was already with Jesus. Gabrielle barely fit into the palm of my hand, and she was beautiful. My sister fell pregnant again shortly after and tragically we had to say goodbye to another little angel, Alina.

I was able to hold both of the girls and never thought to take photos ( which I will regret forever). I was so emotionally involved and because both the girls where born just before the 20 weeks mark, they where so tiny and unfortunately the hospitals don't consider a baby born before 20weeks as a stillborn, they call it "a missed abortion" which implies that there was some sort of choice in the matter.
But my sister gave birth to her angel girls and although tiny, they where her babies, and both my sister and her husband deserved to have memories of their precious little fingers and toes, the way their tiny lips looked....every detail of their children.
The only photos my sister has are terrible ones that the hospital took 3days after they where born, we had all but a moment of opportunity that we missed and we can never get it back.

Since that time I have wanted to help families capture loving memories of there angel babies. There have been many people I have met since that due to shock and grief never thought to take many photos and all have regretted it.
God continued to bring me closer to this vision when I stumbled across a photographer, Erin Drallos http://www.footprintsphotography.com/ who has a section called "heart and soul". Erin started a program in America where a group of child photographers on a voluntary basis work with family with desperately ill children or who have suffered the loss of a child, capturing lifetime memories in a moment of time.

I desperately wanted to start something up in Adelaide but didn't have the know how to make it work...............Then God lead me to Lia's blog http://www.liahayes.typepad.com/who has the same vision, and the blessing continued when I e-mailed her to let her know that I would love to be involved and found out that not only does she live in the same state, she lives 5 minutes away!! God is awesome!!!

If there is any photographers that read this blog and feel a calling to help, please let me know. The more photographers we have, the better.

Getting back to normal

2007-07-06T22:24:00.000+09:30

At the moment the Specialist believes JJ has a condition which has the alphabet three times over in the title..........basically, it is a condition that is not very common ( I hate using the term, rare - it sounds too dramatic ), scientists don't know the reason people get it, but who cares because this condition goes away within 6months all by itself!!!!
The bone deformity plus the high results in the blood tests mimicked bone cancer, but it may just be that by coincidence, JJ had/has this condition and the bone deformity is no more than just an isolated deformed bone.
He has tests to confirm this when he is 2yrs ( in 3months). The doctors opinion sits so well with us and it confirms the word I got from God, " it's already been done " as in he's already healed!!

As far as the overdose they gave him, we have spoken to a lawyer who believes we have a case but it may take years and a lot of money to sort out because it's not a cut and dry case of this is what they did and this is the result. JJ's risk of cancer and other things are greatly increased but he has nothing right now. So we are still deciding whether to continue.

OK...now that I've updated, and if there is anyone left out there that hasn't given up on checking my blog, I am going to post soon ( I promise ). I've been so tied up with all this that it's time to get back to normal ( well, our families version of normal ).

So where have I been??

2007-05-22T12:38:00.000+09:30

I'm here, but we had so many things happening and to tell you the truth, I didn't quite know how to write it down. I've had some time to absorb things now, so I'll give it a go..........

To cut a very long story short (well shorter), Jeremiah ended up in our local hospital with a temperature of 40.7 that just wouldn't go down. After some tests we were transferred via ambulance to the main children's hospital.
Every time they ran a test to rule out one thing, it showed up something else. His bloods were so out of wack, for example something that is meant to be between 150 and 450 was 3005, so as you can imagine we ended up seeing different specialist wanting to run their many tests.
It was found that some of his bones are growing deformed and with the other symptoms, they thought he had bone cancer. It was in one of these tests that really put the icing on the cake of an already terrible, heart breaking week.

HERE IT GOES.........
The hospital accidentally injected Jeremiah with an overdose of radiation, based on a 22.3kg child instead of his weight of 8.5kg. When they pulled me aside to tell me, I was in total disbelief....on one hand he didn't have bone cancer and on the other hand they had now increased his chance of getting cancer, liver and kidney damage and many other complications.
We had an immediate prayer chain going, getting angry at that point was not going to help Jeremiah or get this solution out of him, so we prayed for the solution to be like water with no ill effects.

A week or so ago, we had a healing prayer service in our church, and as they prayed for total healing over Jeremiah, I audibly heard Gods words in my head, "it's already been done!". I immediately felt a peace about it.

We have two different issues that we are dealing with, one is still seeing specialists to find out what is going on with Jeremiahs little body and the other is keeping an eye on any side effects from the overdose. This one is hard because it's not like you can run a simple test to see if there is any damage, it is something that can take hold at any time in his life now. For this very reason, you can't live in fear of what might happen, so we are just loving and enjoying our children that we have been blessed with and know that God is in total control.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely have those moments when I get upset over anything happening to my precious baby boy, especially when I'm rocking him to sleep. I tend to hold tight just that little longer, press my face into his soft warm neck, breath in his beautiful baby smell and silently have a little cry. BUT, in this whole adoption process God has moved mountains and I am once again reminded and relieved that God is in total control, and I am faithfully believing his words that he has already been healed!

Our little princess turns 6!

2007-03-29T20:27:00.000+09:30

Yesterday, the 28th march, our little girl turned 6.

I picked her up from school early so we could buy a birthday outfit for a very special date, a dinner date with her Daddy. Emily was so excited, Adrian was taking her to a restaurant to be treated like a lady.

Emily had a bath with special smelling "big girl" water ( 2 drops of lavender oil and 1/4 cup of milk powder did the job nicely). Then she prepared herself for her dinner date.

It was so funny, when Adrian got home he wasn't allowed to see her until she was completely ready - earrings, necklace, hair, lip gloss, and a touch of Mummy's perfume over her clothes.

Adrian got dressed up, we all oohh'd and arhhh'd at the birthday girl and then they set off for the restaurant.

Emily had her chair pulled out for her, ate chips and nuggets (we made sure we chose a restaurant that would still cater for kids meals), watched a jazz band in amazement and had a fantastic time.

Adrian presented her with a book called "I'd be your princess". The book is about a little girl talking with her Daddy and imagining all the things they would do together if he was a king and she was his princess, and at the end the Daddy says that " even if I'm never a king and we never live in a castle and never.........etc........you will still be my princess because I love you so very much". He read the book to her and then brought the sleepy little princess home.

The night was such a huge deal to Emily, the next day she said that when they were at the restaurant, she felt like a real Mummy ( her way of saying a real lady).

Adrian and I believe that all little (and big) girls have such a want and need to be seen as beautiful, inside and out, and if they don't get that clarification from their Daddy, then they tend to jump into the arms of the first boy that makes them feel special, important, beautiful. We want Emily to know beyond a doubt that she is a princess of God, that she is beautiful, and that she is loved. Hopefully we can install a security in her so that when she grows up, she will know who she is in God and not seek the security that she's worth something in the wrong arms.

Bits and pieces

2007-03-22T10:50:00.000+10:30

Well, I am writing this blog because Jeremiah slept for the first time in his own room, YIPPEE!!
He was sleeping in our room (partly in the porta cot and partly on me all night) which is also where the computer is, so now I should be able to update my blog more often. Adrian and I are also able to get some more "cuddle" time, which we are extremely grateful for (especially Adrian).

A few weeks ok we had the dreaded gastro in our household. When Jeremiah had a bout, good old Daddy was trying to show him what to do with the bucket by dry reaching into it.
So then I had JJ on a towel on my lap never knowing when he was really going to be sick because he took great pleasure in the newly taught sound effect of vomiting into the bucket.....good one Adrian!

JJ's first trip to the beach - he absolutely loved it , he was a bit wary of the water at first but he's definately a water baby, and only ate a little bit of sand which is pretty impresive for a 17month old. I think we will have to visit the beach more often.

After the gastro bout, Nana Dee and Papa Don came to visit bearing lollies. Jordan and Emily had a lot of fun seeing how high they could stack them.

They figured out that if you lick each lolly thay have a better chance of sticking.

Which also meant that the stack then had to be eaten in one go. Nothing like a bit of nutrients after being sick!

We went to my nieces wedding, which was sooo beautiful, they are such are great couple.

Seen as we were all together and all dressed up, we tried to get a family photo, which is very hard because JJ will just frown and not smile when it isn't one of us behind the camera. I love this shot of the kids together though. I love my kids so much and am incredibly greatful to God for our sometimes "nutty" little family.

some pics

2007-02-27T20:34:00.000+10:30

Climbing everything and anything is also a favourite past time, which is fine except for the no fear of running off the edge when he wants to get down.

JJ loves his baths and says bath at any given opportunity. The orphanage washed the children by pouring cups of cold water over them, so for Jeremiah's first bath I sat with him in 2cm of cold water and slowly filled and warmed the bath. He was so amazed that his foot kept floating and has since discovered just how wet you can make mummy with splashing!

Apparently, this toy highchair is not for dolls to sit in. JJ ditched the doll, knocked the highchair over and found it's true purpose....to make really loud sounds whilst dragging it on tiles!

This phone was the first toy we bought in the Philippines, because he constantly wanted ours. JJ didn't play with it over there, he just wanted something to hold. Now he loves to "talk" on the phone and has just figured out that my phone takes pictures, so this is JJ taking a picture of himself with his toy phone.

This is my beautiful sister Samantha, she was the first person I hugged when we arrived at the airport. Sam has travelled this long road with us very closely, so you can imagine how emotional she was to meet her new nephew.

JJ will pick up any bag, no matter how big or heavy, put the straps on his shoulder and wave bye-bye. This bag proved too heavy, so with many failed attempts, he decided to drag it to the front door and dump it there as if to say, "this ones a dud, get rid of it!"

Jordan made this welcome home cake, it was so special that all of the kids had their own way of welcoming their little brother (thanks to Phoebe).

I've said before how I'm not allowed to show any distinguishing photos of Jeremiah on the web until our court day in a years time, but I can still e-mail a photo, so if you've been tracking my blog and want to see a photo of Jeremiah, I'd be proud to e-mail you a piccy. I don't know how you do that, if you leave an e-mail address in comments or some other way, so if anyone knows how, please let me know.

Life in the day of JJ

2007-02-26T10:28:00.000+10:30

Jeremiah is 16 1/2 months old now, he is 73cm tall and weighs 8.3kg (he's slowly gaining weight).
He has the smallest little bottom, it's so little that we have him in infant nappies and the tabs still cross over....so cute!
He's a smart little guy, the carers ( called Aunties and Uncles ) in the orphanage spoke to him in Cebuano, but he is picking up English really quickly and knows what I'm on about most of the time. I just repeat the English and then the Cebuano word for those I know to help him out. Still there are times he keeps repeating a word over and over and I have no idea what he's saying, and I can't find it in my translation book ( it is 16month old Cebuano after all ).

Food wise, he loves any mushy fruit, over cooked mushy rice, and sultanas. We are still working on finger foods and vegetables. I carry sultanas around all the time so he knows that food is always available to him but he still gets into the bin now and then and stuffs food into his nappy for later, Sometimes it's not even eatable, a banana skin or a tea bag.
I need to clarify that JJ's orphanage was one of the best I have seen or heard of, they really loved and cared for him and we will forever be thankful to God and the workers for doing their very best for JJ. They all have an enormous faith in God and treat the children wonderfully. In fact, the day we left, JJ was so distraught to leave, I even wondered if we were doing what was best for him. They loved him, he loved them and this was his home since he was 6hours old. He seemed very settled in his life there and had all his friends around him.
Now I can see that no matter how well an orphanage is run, how much the children are loved, it never replaces a family that can provide that individual attention when they need it, with 75-100 children at any given time, it is impossible to comfort every hurt, cater to hunger outside of set meal times, and so much more that instills security, love and peace into a child that enables them to grow to their full potential. So although JJ is doing fantastically because of how well he was treated, there are still so many hurdles to overcome.

Sleeping is probably one of our toughest issues, but we are making progress. He was sleeping with his eyes wide open, poor little guy, so much insecurity and learnt protection skills shouldn't be there in anyone, especially a 16month old. He closes his eyes now but still wants to sleep on me, koala bear style (which is not the most comfortable position for a side sleeper). He can sometimes take hours to go to sleep and when I can safely put him down without waking, he sleeps for 15mins and then that's it for the day. He wakes restlessly through the night, his little arms and legs don't stop moving, searching for comfort and he needs to tuck his hand up my sleeves. What amazes me is that although he gets so little sleep, he doesn't sit still, he's always on the go, to the point where I have to massage his legs and hold him because he doesn't seem to know what to do with himself, he seems a bit lost and can't get himself to stop.
During the day, he is much more settled, is fine to visit new people and places and is happy to explore and walk off from me as long as I am sitting down. So he can walk away from me but not me walk away from him, which means housework is on a definite back burner at the moment.

He's learning to respond more to pain now. He use to knock his head really hard, slam his finger in the drawer and not bat an eyelid. JJ is still a tough little guy but he'll come to us and cry a little now. We don't want him to become a sook when he has the slightest bump but he needs to know that we are always there to comfort him. He has never had any tears since birth so it's also important for him to audibly cry or to indicate when he has been hurt, especially when he goes to kindy or is with someone else.

Have to go, I have been typing one handed with him asleep on my chest an he is just waking up, i will try to get some pictures up tonight.

Hello again, I'm back!

2007-02-18T02:11:00.000+10:30

Ok, here we go... I have made a few attempts to blog but never got to complete them.
There has been sooo much happening since I last blogged that it's hard to get everything down, so I will have to just pick up from here.
The trip to bring home our little boy was one we will never forget and a piece of our hearts will forever be with the orphanage. The children there were just beautiful, we had lots of play time with them all and the only one that didn't want anything to do with us was our son, Jeremiah.
It was so hard when we first saw him not to just hold him and kiss him, but we sat back and took it as slow as he needed. He was very attached to a few of his carers and clung to them as much as he could, whilst watching us, trying to work us out.
The day we finally took him from the orphanage was heart breaking. The other children and carers sung us a farewell song, said a prayer and gave us hugs goodbye. The whole time this was going on, JJ was screaming, the carers were all crying.... it was so emotional. JJ was so upset that I had to keep telling myself that this was a good sign. If he has attached to someone then he can attach again. Some children have never learnt to bond with anyone and have a hard time ever fully bonding.
What's changed since then?
He is adjusting really well. Absolutely loves his brothers and sister, and gives us huge giggles, hugs and kisses. He calls us Mummy and Daddy and is always on the go discovering this new world. He is just beautiful.
Although we were not there for his first tooth, word, and steps, we have been able to share so many firsts with him. We take for granted the things around us, and it was so special watching JJ see a whole new world...his first bath, carpet (which he licked), cupboards, drawers, television..and so much more.
We are still having to work on a few areas, but he is doing far better than we thought he would, and we will tackle things one day at a time. One thing is certain though....I would've waited 20years for this little blessing that is asleep beside me and I again am amazed at God's awesome love and blessings.

The Eleventh Hour

2007-01-20T00:06:00.000+10:30

Hi there, Phoebe here on behalf of Brandi.

I'm sitting here while she and Adrian finish their packing. With less than 12 hours before they fly out to the Philippines the reality that they are days away from meeting their son is sinking in.

Procedures and policy's with no flexibility have made for a tense week here with the final necessary documents only arriving today! The frustration during the hiccups has been great as has the peace that God has been in the drivers seat during this entire journey and a knowledge that things will all happen in His timing.

On Monday they will meet Jeremiah and spend three days with him at the orphanage before leaving with him Thursday. The kids and I will be following their itinerary closely. We have a few surprises planned for their parents and new brother for when they return home, which will hopefully give us all an outlet during the times when the kids miss their parents the most.

Brandi and Adrian have tried to contact as many people as possible to join them at the airport on the 28th. Feel free to email me for details (via my blog). They've been a little scattered and if you've not been contacted it wasn't intentional.

Feel free to pop on over to my blog for any other little updates. I may find that I don't have the time or am too exhausted looking after 4 kids all day to post. But I hope to be able to share snippets from our part of this journey as we wait at home for the safe return of the newest member of this amazing family.

Having a P.L.O.M moment

2007-01-09T00:58:00.000+10:30

Sorry it's been so long. To be honest, I haven't been feeling one hundred percent positive lately.
By the way, just incase it's just our family's quirky saying, P.L.O.M stands for "Poor Little Old Me".
Don't get me wrong, on one hand I am so excited to be so close to holding my little boy, but on the other hand, this has taken nearly five years and we are so close and yet we STILL have to go through so much red tape, so much waiting and relying on someone sitting in a government office to send us a piece of paper to let us travel.
Without it, we are not aloud to travel, and this not knowing is driving me crazy.

This is our son, he's been allocated to us, he's passed all the medical standards, and he's growing older by the minute! I don't want to spend one more day without him, or him spend one more day without us!

Sometimes I feel surreal about it, sometimes I feel like I'm going to burst with excitement, and sometimes I want to be a two year old, lay down on the ground and kick and scream and have a full on tantrum whilst screaming "it's not fair!"
Sorry this blog isn't on a lighter note but I started this blog so friends, family, and anyone that connects with it, could see an insight into what goes on in my life, that makes me me. I guess that means the good and the bad.

The other night I kept dreaming of the whole process of driving into the orphanage gates, seeing our greeting on the blackboard, driving closer and seeing Jeremiah in the distance and every time I got close to him, the dream would click to the beginning and start over again..it was torture.

I have to keep my focus on God big time at the moment, and I really do want it all to happen in HIS timing not mine, I just need God to help me in the waiting area.

It's funny, one of the things I asked God for before we even started the adoption process was patience, and boy did he answer my wish. Now I just tell him that I've learnt to be patient so I'd like things to hurry up NOW....please!!! Like my 5yr old says though, "if we had been allocated sooner,(which was our timing) then we wouldn't have Jeremiah as a brother, and he's perfect!" It always amazes me how much my children teach me. As a christian, you "know" this to be true, but sometimes it takes a 5yr old little girl to remind you.

There, I feel better already! Thanks for letting me vent!

some favourite pressies

2006-12-30T22:10:00.000+10:30

Last night Adrian and I decided to write a list of all the things to organize before going away.
It was a very scary, long list, that actually had lists within the list.
Besides this weekend, which is already half over, we only have two more weekends to prepare...like I said...scary.

So, what did we do today, seen as we have so little time?....we went to the public swimming pool with the kids. It was great to get out with the family and friends and just relax and enjoy. I think the children and us really needed it, so in my way of thinking, it was one of the things we needed to do on our list.

Life seems to always have something that you just have to do, so I think you need to put family time in that same category, otherwise it can tend to get overshadowed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are some of our children's favourite Christmas presents...

Kahlan loves his miniature copy of the brand name " Vans"volleys. He was very impressed that they have the same tread as the "real" ones and even the little logo on the heel and inner sole.

One of Jordan's favourite would be his Torpedo Battleship game ( I quite enjoy it too! ). It's a lot like the original but after you locate all the other person's ship, you place a big version on the grid and get to fire torpedoes at it. When you hit it, it gets blown off the grid.

Emily's is definitely her CD player. It is so cute, it's a little castle with turrets that light up and change colours as you play music. Emily spends a lot of time dancing and singing to her new worship music Cd. At night, she listens to her lullaby music to sleep.

We are trying to get Emily to close her door over when she goes to sleep, as her room is in the main noisy area, so she spends most of her time watching and listening to us instead of sleeping. She is still too scared to close it completely, but with the lights and music of her Cd player we have progressed to the door being half closed.

We sent Jeremiah a toy camera but I forgot to take a photo of it.
For too many Christmas's, we have had a ball ball on the tree that said " little one", my sister made it for us, it was a beautiful gift. Every Christmas that went by, we prayed we would not have another one without our "little one".

Well, another Christmas has gone by without our "little one", but this time we have a son, a name, a beautiful little boy that we will hold very soon. So my sister had a ball ball made up with Jeremiah on it, this was one of my favourite presents.

Unfortunately, straight after taking these photos, I went to put his ball ball in a different area and it shattered. My thumb went straight through it. We have had the other one for years, but this one was very thin. Jordan was in tears and kept telling me I could glue it. It was in too many little pieces though.
We will get another one for him, but I'm so pleased I took a photo for the blog, it probably would have shattered in storage anyway so at least I have a photo.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-28T22:20:00.000+10:30

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, or if your like our family we are kind of still in Christmas mode. We still have a few pressies to deliver. Also apologies to all our family and friends that didn't receive cards from us. We even had labels made up with of all our faces on them but never got around to sending them (just another well meaning intention that I couldn't get my head around to organize).

Christmas day was beautiful and sad at the same time for me. It's funny how and when things decide to hit you. I never expected or wanted to feel upset on Christmas day but as I watched three of our children unwrap their presents and be full of smiles and cuddles, I felt an incredible ache that not all of my children were with us.

What was Jeremiah's Christmas like? Did he like the excitement or was it too much for him? Did he fall asleep in someones arms or was he put to bed at normal time? Did he like our present?

What comforts him? What scares him? What makes him smile?

These are a few of the never ending questions I had and have. They are simple every day things that a mother should know and it hurts that I don't, that I'm not with him to hold him when he cries, to make him laugh, to see his face when he unwraps his presents, and just to instill in him that he is so incredibly loved.

I'm so thankful that the orphanage love God and with our prayers also, I'm sure Jeremiah knows or feels Gods love around him.

We spent Christmas at my Mums with lots of extended family and it was really lovely. Mum arranged "father Christmas" to arrive for the children. They all sat on his lap to get their pressies ( I sat on his lap with Jeremiah's photo for his pressies ).

The children had a ball, stayed up very late, then crashed into bed and actually slept in!!

On Wednesday we went into the city to get those dreaded injections to travel, the kids watched in delight and wanted to see if Dad fainted, as he's a bit squeamish with needles. Unfortunately for the kids entertainment, he was a brave boy!

Before we left for the appointment a package arrived from our new found friends that have adopted from the same orphanage, they took video footage of Jeremiah when they went there earlier this month, we were already running late for our injections so we had to leave straight away. It was sooo hard to not look at it until we got home.

It was the best Christmas present we could have asked for. In one video, Jeremiah is in a high chair with everyone unsuccessfully trying to get him to smile, he looks totally bewildered and totally cute.

The next footage is of him walking, he's wearing a big bum nappy (material nappy), with girly puffy shorts and a white singlet top. He looks a bit wobbly when he walks, it's so precious.

It was so special to be able to see him in action, not just a photo. Even though he didn't smile, every little lip movement or eye expression was adorable. We constantly watch it over and over.

The other children are hanging onto anything more of their little brother, they can't get enough of the footage either.

We also received an e-mail from this same beautiful person who found an old newsletter from the orphanage with a photo of Jeremiah when he was 1 week old, he was the 700th child to enter the orphanage when he was just 6hours old. We are so blessed to have a new born photo and yes even as a new born, he was gorgeous.

Since I can't put any distinguishing photos of him on here, I've decided to put just a portion of his photo up, purely because I cannot contain myself, I want to show you my beautiful little boy.

I have studied his photos over and over, but one of the things I focus on the most are his beautiful eyes, they are so innocent, so pure. We have never seen him smile so we are looking forward to the day we can see laughter in those little eyes.

Thankyou Phoebe

2006-12-19T00:11:00.000+10:30

My beautiful friend, Phoebe will be looking after our other children when we travel to pick up Jeremiah (I can't help smiling whenever I write or say his name).
I'm so grateful to have such an wonderful friend.
My family is so supportive and are on cloud no.9 along with us but I'm so blessed to also have a friend who can be just as emotionally attached as family.
Some friendships are started in school and grow because you see each other every day so you get to know each other, but others can form through a simple crossing of paths and feeling a mutual connection.
Either way, friendships are created over time, over shared conversations, and shared experiences, and Phoebe is someone that I'm so glad is there to share in this blessed experience.
Thankyou Phoebe!

We have a date!!

2006-12-18T01:04:00.000+10:30

WE HAVE A TRAVEL DATE!!!!!

All things going well, we will travel out on the magical 20Th January. We spent quite a bit of time with our travel agent trying to see what flights were available. You can only fly in and out of the Philippines on a Saturday, so we were limited.
All the flights that fly direct were fully booked with many people waiting, so we checked the round the world in 80 days approach.
When she got back to us and said that she found three seats left on the 20Th, it sent tingles all through me....that date that I kept getting looks like it's the one!!Thank you God!!
Of course, all of Jeremiah's documents need to be sent to us before we travel, so we still wont have a definite yes until sometimes the day before your due to leave. But at the moment, we have been given a rough approval that date. So that's what we are believing for!

The kids are hilarious, especially Jordan. He just keeps jumping, twisting, shouting, laughing and making inaudible sounds out of the blue.....I guess you could say, he's very excited. All our children are but because Jordan is what we call our MORE child ( he can be more happy, more sad, more loving, more angry)...he has been the most outwardly passionate with the adoption from the very beginning!

Since we started the process 41/2 years ago I could count on the one hand the days that he hasn't prayed about the adoption. Just thinking about the many incidents with him makes my heart swell with love and pride. It's funny how you love your children all so much, and no matter how many you have, they are all so unique that you find new things to love about them every day.

I think my days can get so hectic sometimes that I can forget to reflect on all those little things. So part of my routine before going to sleep is recalling the day and finding those little moments, those little words that my children say during the day that encourage me that it's not all sibling quarrels, dirty clothes, and repeating the same request over and over.

Emily 5, Jordan 10, and Kahlan 14.
I would so love to show everyone our son Jeremiah, but I'm not allowed to show his photo or reveal too much detailed information about him. So you will have to take my word for it when I say he is gorgeous, just like all of our children!

Jump for joy!!

2006-12-13T23:34:00.000+10:30

OK! You ready for some good news?
well....we received an e-mail today to say that they found Jeremiah's medical clearance form and HE PASSED!!! Yeh,yahoo...then when we rang our case worker, she said we could start to book tentative flights for the end of Jan beginning of Feb!!

It has always seemed ridiculous that since we were allocated, the 20th of Jan kept coming up in my heart to travel, which is to the day 4months since we were allocated. The earliest anyone travels is between 4 to 6months but the 4month being more like 41/2 closer to 5months. We also have Christmas break to factor in, but we are still going to make our first booking for that day, I will soon find out if God was giving me that date or I was just letting my imagination run away. I frankly prefer the first option so I've made sure I let God know that too.

I can't believe we could be traveling in 5 WEEKS!!

In the mean time, thankyou for all your prayers and please keep them coming! We still have lots to sort through, Cebu is still listed as do not travel, and I still have to remember to keep breathing!!

My little angel

2006-12-12T00:31:00.000+10:30

My beautiful little angel, Emily was having a bit of a disagreement with her older brother Jordan. I walked into the room with the camera and called her name, she didn't have time to change her expression, so I have on record her,"what! I did not Jordan!" look.

This next shot was taken straight after the first, of course by then she had time to put back her Butter wouldn't melt in my mouth look.
Ahhh, there's my little angel.

What did you do all day?

2006-12-11T13:33:00.000+10:30

You have probably all heard this one before, but it's so funny, I couldn't resist:

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?" "Yes," was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Now I have to say that my fabulous hubby is definitely not one to complain if I don't get things done. In fact, my brain at the moment is so off duty that I find it hard to complete the simplest task. I know their is sooo much I need to do but all I can think of is getting to our little boy. So Adrian is being very patient with me.

Last week I rang Adrian up at work to thank him for taking the towels out the washing machine for me ( I had only that morning remembered they were in there). His reply was a simple, "that's Ok honey, I took them out two days ago". Could of had some pretty smelly towels if it wasn't for hubby!

Prayers please!

2006-12-07T22:10:00.000+10:30

I wanted to put this on a separate posting and although I have only just started to Blog, I noticed that I have had a comment from someone that doesn't even know me. It amazes me who's Blogs we stumble upon. Thankyou "excelthoughts" for commenting, I tried to get to your Blog and either you can't or I just haven't worked it out. I figured though, If one person that doesn't know me can stumble across me then so might others, so I'm sending out a big Prayer request.
We are waiting to pick up our little boy from the Philippines, but the Cebu province, where we need to travel has been listed on this goverment site as a "do not travel" zone, due to terrorist attacks. This not only causes obvious safety issues with us travelling, but also with the authorities allowing us to. If they don't give us approval to travel, the whole process gets even further away from us holding our little boy.
So PLEASE anyone who reads this or wants to pass it on to others, pray that the attacks do not go ahead and we are given permission to travel soon.
THANKYOU! THANKYOU! THANKYOU!

Cup of tea anyone?

2006-12-07T21:38:00.000+10:30

Before I started home schooling with Jordan I went to ceramic classes for a while. As usual, what I had in mind to make wasn't available. I love creating art works or craft projects but years ago I went through the whole tissue box covers, padded material photo frame thing and learnt that if I saw these same things in a store, would I want them in my house? Definitely not! So I try to stick to things that I actually want in my house. Of course I don't always get the result I want, and on those occasions I just enjoy the process and chuck it.
In the ceramic class I looked everywhere in their store room for something that was me and found a dusty piece in the back.
I have always wanted a beautiful dainty tea set and they seem to be very in at the moment. Even if they are all odd pieces, as long as they have character, I like them.
I'm really happy with how it turned out. The only disappointing thing is that I wanted more than one so when a few friends were around, we could all have our different coloured matching set. I would love to do some in that pastel green/pink/lemon thats in at the moment (very shabby chic look).So if anyone has seen them in a ceramic store anywhere, please let me know.

My handy hubby's work

2006-12-07T17:08:00.000+10:30

Finally figured out the photo thing (with the help of my 14year old son).
You can't see all the little fairy lights in the bushes but my handy hubby has wired them all off one power point. This is either extremely clever or stupid. But it looks good!

Adoption update

2006-12-05T22:09:00.001+10:30

Just before sitting down to write today's Blog, I decided to check the orphanage's web site and our e-mails for the umpteenth (is that even a word?)time today. I look for anything about our little boy Jeremiah and pray that an e-mail will come that brings us closer to travelling to the Philippines to bring him home. We have had quite a few setbacks which has been really hard for us even though we expected to have them. So I was surprised to see an e-mail from our lovely social worker, who has sent an e-mail to Jeremiah's orphanage to ask some questions that we raised. The orphanage Director's reply was amazing, he said that he would try to get back to us tomorrow (that quickly just doesn't usually happen), so we are ecstatic, to our further amazement, he said that he would just e-mail us direct ( legally, we are not allowed to contact anyone in the Philippines but he obviously can contact us ). This news is just sooo good. Thankyou to everyone praying for us and our family.

Lights, lights and more lights!

2006-12-05T18:29:00.000+10:30

WOW! You should see our house! We have so many Chrissy lights up, it looks great.I will try to figure out how to put photos on my Blog soon, because a Blog without photos just isn't as good! It's a lot of work ( and cramming of double adapters ) but the kids love it. Last year was the first year we really got into it and then our neighbours caught the bug, so this year we have nightly meetings in the street with our neighbours and admire our houses. Believe me, it's very addictive once you start. It's funny, but once the lights are up, the atmosphere in our street is magical, we all help each other out and I realise how lucky we are to have such good neighbours.

A few years ago I decided that although I wanted the children to focus on the true meaning of Christmas, I wanted them to enjoy the trimmings also. So I assigned each trimming it's special reminder.

THE TREE - is a triangular shape representing the trinity ( The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost ). It also has a point at the top to keep our eyes turned to God.

THE LIGHTS - is to remind us that Jesus is the light.

THE STAR/ANGEL - represents the angel and star that guided the three wise men to Jesus.

THE PRESENTS - to remind us that God gave us the biggest gift of all - Jesus!

That same year, the kids and I decided to bring a blessing to others so we made beaded angels and place them anonymously on as many peoples door steps as possible with a little blessing attached. It was a great idea until I realised that I had to stay up till wee hours of the morning, and sneak onto peoples front yards without them waking up ( do you know how many people have sensor lights !) I was just waiting for someone to angrily open their front door thinking I was an intruder.

It was great though, we came home from church and all bar one of the 30 odd angels had been found and taken inside ( the only one left was because they were on holidays). I think it was really good for the kids, they felt so good about blessing someone even though they wouldn't get any recognition from them. I would love to do it again but have to think of something easier, cheaper so we can do more, and something that a stray cat or ants won't eat during the night.

Hello World!

2006-12-04T00:46:00.000+10:30

WOW! I finally did it!! I've been wanting to create my own blog for ages now, and at nearly 1 o'clock in the morning I finally nutted it out. I have no idea how to put photos on, write a profile, or anything else fancy but it's a start!
I want to blog so I can share my little world with my friends, family and anyone that might feel a connection to what I write about.
I will apologise in advance for my ramblings until, as a good friend told me," I find my voice". Oh, and for any dreadful spelling errors.
I'll just keep it short and sweet to see if this actually works, but after that, watch out! I have so much going on in my head that I might not be able to stop once I start!